We fought over water bottles last night. I was out of bottled water and needed to buy more to bring to work. I wanted the six pack of liter SmartWater ones that I always get. He berrated me about how they were more expensive, and I could fill up smaller ones, and if I refill the SmartWater ones, even if I like SmartWater, I'd be drinking the same water after refilling them. I gave in to him. I can't even stand up for myself anymore over something as meaningless as bottled water. That scares me. Him being that controlling and me letting him scares me.

I am still choosing to sometimes drive the Legacy. I am having an incredibly hard time giving it up for the Cobalt. I love the Cobalt, but I believe that with everything else I've lost this summer, I need to give up my car in my own time. It's a car, it shouldn't be this hard.



And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when